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How to Find a Lost Snake in the House



10.22.2004 - I removed the above pictured snake from a residential neighborhood. Whether it was a lost snake or a released pet I can't be sure, but my later experience leads me to believe that it could well have been a lost pet, because this one was a bonafide escape artist.

This snake is a Boa Constrictor. I removed it and brought it back to my house so that I could hang on to it while I waited for a local snake rescue and breeding group to come pick up the snake. I put the 5 1/2 foot snake in a large cardboard box and closed the top, sealing it shut with a laundry basket full of clothes. Upon waking the following morning, I went to check on the snake, and saw that the laundry basket had been rolled away, and the tomb was empty. The snake was gone!

I quickly did a glance around the room, figuring that this large snake would be sitting on the rug or draped over an armchair or something. Nope. I looked all around the house, and still didn't see the snake. I then went on a more serious search, in which I checked under all the furniture, looked up on the curtain rods, behind the refrigerator, etc. Nowhere. "Hmmm...." I thought, being the deep thinker that I am. I had to get to my workday of removing critters, and resolved to continue my search that night. When I arrived back at home, I put forth a hell of an effort looking for this lost sssslitherpants. I checked every nook and cranny, from the bowels of the water heater closet to the god-forsaken backs of the pantry and cabinets that are never used. When looking under the cushions didn't work, I cut open the lining of the couch and loveseat to see if it got in there. Where the heck could a snake this large and fat hide? I knew that the doors had certainly been shut. I was stumped.

Over the following days and weeks I remained perplexed, but eventually forgot about it. One of life's crazy mysteries, I supposed, flummoxed by a magic esssscape artissst. It wasn't until a trip to Cocoa Beach about a month after the incident that I dug to the bottom of my bureau, where I keep my swimsuit and other rarely-used articles of clothing, and there, curled in a happy ball, was the snake, at the very bottom. "So that's where you've been!", I said, once again thinking deeply. The snake was in great shape, since this kind of snake can go several months without food, and I called the snake breeder, and he came and got it, and, I assume, later lost it somewhere in his house.

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